all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
