Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
