I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
