This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
