It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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