it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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