make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
