I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
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