It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize