its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
