White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
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