everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
