He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I showed him my bush... on skype.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
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apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
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While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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