there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
