and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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