Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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