Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
