he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
