If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
