he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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