Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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