And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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