So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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