The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
