If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You made out with two different species that night
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
