Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
