You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
