talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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