He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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