gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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