You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
