Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
