The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
