i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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