I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
