I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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