I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
