Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
