I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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