I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
