you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
