so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
