My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
