Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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