her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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