You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
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No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
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Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
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