I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
