Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
