I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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