I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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