I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
