I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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