how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
