He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
