Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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