We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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