My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
