he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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