well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
